The List

It seems as though when it comes to love and life the heart and the mind like to wage war. Even though I have had those all nighter conversations with myself about certain someones I believe that I have always been sensible when it comes to choosing men, so sensible in fact I stay away from the decision altogether even have a list, I like to call it...

The kinky conundrum of why I can't have coitus with you

1. We're unequally yolked.

Spirituality and all its related activities are important to me. This includes church. If you have issues with organized religion or consider yourself spiritual and not religious then you can bet that we will be just friends. I have been raised in the church and have formed my own relationship with the man upstairs. If that seems silly or a waste of time for you believe me I feel the same way about our relationship. Catch me at Carverdale Church of Christ nicca! (Did I just do a church shout out?)

   2. You have no attainable goals.

I want to be a lawyer and a successful blogger. What about you? Men who can't finish school, can't keep a job, or have no inkling of what they want to do in life make me itch. I don't mind a brotha with dreams. If you want to own a ribbon making factory great! If you majored in dance in college cool, open a dance company and get your Alvin Ailey on, but you got to show me some initiative. I have seen too many women in my life get swindled by some man into being their sugar mama and I just can't do it church.

   3. You are with child.

I have some guy friends who are fathers. Some are great, some could use a  little work. I am more than happy to be apart of a child's life as auntie kinky, not step-mama kinky. I am still at a point in life where children seem more of a burden than a blessing, and to be honest I am way to irresponsible and/or selfish to be put into the position of rearing a little person. I have had men try to tell me that their child is not my responsibility and all I have to worry about is being their woman but I have to disagree. If our relationship is to be long term then at some point or another I will be directly or indirectly be responsible for the well-being of your child. That is a lot of pressure, then there is the chance that your child won't like me and who's to say I'm going to be head over heels about Jr? The most important issue however is the mother of your child. You are now linked forever with a woman who has seen you naked, that is a problem for me.

   4. You are to "eurocentric"

All my life I been black and all my life I been happy as heck to be it. I've had this nappy hair for over a year now and I'm not turning back. I'm trying to get back to Africa next summer and I have read the Autobiography of Malcolm X. A sista is quick to throw up the black power fist ok? If you ain't down to fight the power every once in awhile or at least have a conversation about it then to you sir I say good day.


    5. Non-argumentative

You can blame this on my highschool sweetheart. I've always been slightly confrontational but thanks to him I now need a couple good arguments a month to keep me on my toes. The strong silent type is good in theory but I need a little passion in my life. Not thug passion or anything that one may find in the urban section in Walden Books just someone who doesn't mind going toe to toe with me. Plus if we never fight how will we ever make-up? wink. wink.

There it is, the top 5 things that I look at to decided if  I am worth a man's time (I didn't type that wrong, that's what I meant to say). I suppose I should back door with a list on what increases a man's coital chances. So I guess this post should be called The List pt.1? Well join me tomorrow kids for part 2 of our segment. Same kinky time, same kinky place.